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I don’t know love. I was built to protect not to love, so there is no use for me other than this.

(Source: rouxx, via be-harmless)

girl: babe come over
boy: I can't I'm having a threesome with an older couple
girl: my parents aren't home
boy: I know
assgod:

does this work? asking for a friend
pardonmewhileipanic:

akinators-boyfriend:


nobody came to his birthday party

SHUT UP OKAY THAT MADE ME REALLY FREAKING SAD OKAY LOOK HOW SWEET AND CUTE HE LOOKS POOR BABY 

i don’t even know this snake and i feel guilty for not being there
chromesthetic:

I’m not like a regular mom. I’m a cool mom. 
pika-brew:

memeguy-com:

I didnt know body wash could be so sexy and condescending

Every time I see this post I think it’s a fire extinguisher and I get really confused

"Primadonna" palette

(Source: buyelectraheart, via mythologiez)

dontactlikewewerenothing:

THEYRE STILL FRIENDS

deplaisant:

dangerhamster:

the fact that people are like “Coca Cola supports racial equality, I’m not going to be drinking Coca Cola anymore” and “Google supports gay rights I’m not going to use them anymore” like what next “the Earth provides Oxygen to ethnic minorities I’m going to stop breathing in protest”

Hopefully

(via hi)

mrsclauses:

I’m having heart palpitations

disarms:

blazin??? more like prayzin stay in church

(via pizza)

babyferaligator:

babyferaligator:

HOW DID BARACK PROPOSE TO MICHELLE 

HE GOT ON ONE KNEE, PULLED OUT A RING, AND SAID “I DONT WANNA BE OBAMASELF”

(Source: 420dongsquad, via perks-of-being-chinese)

lanasdadddy:

when u open up da front cAm